We asked our Facebook audience what fees they would charge Landlords or Tenants if there were no restrictions or legislation to hinder them.
So here is the wish-list of fees that our audience was able to come up with: (I have added some artistic license in naming these fees)
Firstly and importantly – Are these fees legitimate?
No! They are here for your amusement only. Remember, we can not charge tenants any fees in Australia. It’s always good to have a laugh though!
· $150 Tenant Vacate Annoying Comment Fee – charged when a tenant states ‘it’s in better condition now than when I moved in’!
· $50 Landlord Statement Dumb Question/Query Fee – charged when an owner calls to query their statement without reading the whole statement first! Double the fee if they asked the same question last month as well!
· $75 Tenant Non-original Late Rent Payment Excuse Fee – Charged when a tenant uses the same excuse again when they pay their rent late (because we want them to keep on coming up with new excuses to keep our day interesting!).
· $50 Tenant ‘We Don’t Have Your Money’ Fee – charged when a tenant says ‘but I paid 2 weeks rent when I moved in!’
· $100 Landlord Stalking Fee – Charged to an owner when they call your landline, then your mobile, then your landline again, then your mobile again, all in a space of 2 minutes!
· $100 Tenant – No Advance Warning fee- A fee to show people through a property when they show up at reception, is only in town for a day and want to see a property then and there but didn’t take the time to set up viewing appointments before their visit to town!
· $300 Tenant ‘but the pet is just visiting’ fee – charged every time you do an inspection and see pet toys, food, blankets and pet beds and the tenant insists the pet is just visiting for a couple days!
· $200 Landlord Ancient Appliance fee – charged to owners when they say the 30-year-old heater/air conditioner “was working when I lived there ” and “the tenant must have broken it”
· $400 Tenant Gardening Boast Fee – charged upfront when a prospective tenant states ‘but I am a great gardener!’ The fee is to clean up the messy garden after the tenant then proceeds to let it become all overgrown and weedy.
· $200 Tenant Keys Early Request fee- A full weeks rent every time a tenant requests to pick up the keys the day before their lease starts (and promises they won’t move anything in)